Groupie Love

For this week's blog, I've decided to go with subject material that we all know and love.  GROUPIES!!!  I'm going to let you guys in on my innermost thoughts and observations about the subculture we all know exists, but never quite want to own up to.

Not all groupies are alike, and with each different type of groupie comes a different set of personality traits, so which one are you?


1.  The Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n Roll Type:

These girls know no boundaries.  They are at a show to get attention.  They do so by flaunting themselves as if it were an audition for a porno.  They have been known to throw underwear on stage, spin their bras around their heads like helicopters, and get tag teamed in the van.  This is what they live for.  Relationship status makes no difference to these girls.  They live their lives based on the assumption that they are too hot to resist, even if the guitar player is married.  Not everything about these girls is negative though.  Other fans, primarily of the male persuasion, really enjoy these antics even if they aren't directed toward them.  Like Ron White said, they want to see ALL of the titties.

2.  The Band-Aid

Taking their name from the epic classic "Almost Famous", these groupies hate the word "groupie".  They proclaim to be there for the best interest of the band, helping in any way possible.  They've been known to cook food, go on beer runs, wrap cords after a show, offer neck massages in the hotel room, and basically anything else they can to assist the bands.  The mantra (of sorts) used by Band-Aids is that they "don't sleep with the bands".  That's honorable, however, given the chance I'd venture to guess that about 50% of them would totally drop their pants.  These are the groupies that actually get the most face time with their favorite bands.  They are often invited out on the road, or at least out to the bus to party.  They frequently host bands in their own homes, and are a really great way to cure the loneliness of the road.  Band-Aids are very valuable to a band, because even if they would drop their pants for the lead singer, they would also drive to Michigan to pick up a part for your broken down tour bus.

3.  The Super Fan

This is a special kind of groupie.  Everyone knows one of these.  EVERYONE.  This is the fan that follows the band on tour.  They see every show they possibly can, make sure to let everyone in the entire world know that they are seeing these shows, and never walk away from a merch table empty handed.  They spend almost every dime they make supporting their favorite bands.  Their social media feeds are filled with posts about bands or shows that they are/were involved with.  They have tattoos that represent their love for "their" bands.  These are the groupies who take the bands to the next level.  I'm pretty sure that the phrase "word of mouth" came from these groupies.  They will not skip any opportunity to tell the world about the bands, and in all reality this is a great way for the bands to get some free advertisement.  I have to say that, as a band, you know you're at least somewhat successful if you have at least one super fan!

4.  The Band Managers

These are without a doubt the most frustrating groupies out there.  These are the ones who believe that without their support, the bands would have gotten nowhere.  Their fandom equates a band's success, and that gives them a sense of entitlement.  These groupies are the type of fans that get annoyed when the spotlight isn't on them.  They expect their favorite bands to grovel at their feet, and jump at their beckoned call.  They take credit for everything, regardless of their involvement, and lose their shit if the band notices anyone but them at a show.  They attempt to usurp their "authority" onto other fans by telling them what to do and how to do it.  They make a rush to be the first like or comment on every social media post.  The worst part about these groupies is that they often make the bands feel like dog crap when they don't get their way.  No band NEEDS groupies like this, but will inevitably have them.

5.  The "You Can't Teach an Old Dog New Tricks" Type

These groupies are absolutely the most fun!  Call them what you want...cougars, grannies, MILF's, whatever....these are groupies that go way back.  The age of the band doesn't matter to them as long as the beer is cold, the pants are leather, and the music is loud.  They have a lot of real life responsibility, so escaping to a show is their way of blowing off steam.  They love hard, and rock harder.  They bring experience to the table, and sometimes that's more valuable than anything.  Some of these older groupies even take on the role of "band mom's".  They cook, do laundry, worry about the band's health, and other motherly duties.  Without a doubt, these groupies have a lot of value, and the bands truly appreciate them.  They become road family, and give the bands a home away from home of sorts.  Don't deny their ability to drink you under the table though.

6.  Groupies In Denial

Ooooo this is a fun section.  Groupies that refuse to admit they are groupies.  They get dolled up, put on their pasties, fetch beers, buy shots, hang all over the band, and still deny that they are groupies.  They claim to be there for the music, but they're dressed like a stripper at a Megadeath show.  Here's a tip:  As an outside observer, I have to point out that the people who are truly at a show for the music are wearing jeans and t-shirts, not 50 pounds of blue eyeshadow and pasties in the shapes of stars.  To these groupies, the word groupie is an insult.  It indicates that someone thinks they are a whore.  I'm here to tell you that this is not the case.  I'll elaborate more on this in the conclusion.

7.  The Creepers

This is the type of groupie that makes everyone uncomfortable.  The ones who stalk in the shadows, stay quiet, stare, possibly put on lipstick while wearing dirty underwear....The creepy people who don't understand the concept of personal space.  While it's possible that they are in fact just socially awkward, no one wants some creepy guy stuffing dollar bills into their pants after a show.  You can expect some very unexpected and erratic behavior from these groupies.  They may write you a love poem one minute and mail you a rabbit's head the next.  Beware of the creepers.

So there you have it.  A breakdown of the groupie class system as interpreted by my own personal observation.  This is meant to be somewhat satirical in nature, but as with all sarcasm, there is an element of truth behind it.  In the end, groupie is just another word for fan, given to fans by other fans who are jealous that they don't get the same attention.  If you are a true fan of a band, then I guarantee you that you fall into one or more of these categories, and guess what?  That's just fine!!

Believe it or not, bands appreciate the attention regardless of format.  Even the creepers.  Don't be offended if someone tells you that you're a groupie.  Own that shit.  Let your freak flag fly.  Just understand that you are not the only fan in existence, and that you are not the center of the band's universe.  Have some respect for boundaries.  If you know one of the guys is married or in a relationship, don't try to sleep with him.  That's trashy.   Don't mail them your dirty panties.  That's creepy, and really disgusting.  Go to their shows, support them on social media, buy their merch, get those tattoos.......whatever you do, do it because you love the band, not because you want them to love you.

Feel free to leave comments!  Especially if you have seen other types that aren't mentioned here!!

rIp: A Remix Manifesto Remixed

To infringe, or not to infringe?  That is the question.  The film RiP:  A Remix Manifesto is an incredibly eye-opening view into the anarchic sub-culture of “remixers”, a title given, by this film, to names as prolific as Walt Disney, Andy Warhol, and many more.  The film goes to great lengths to offer its viewers a first person perspective into the world of copyright infringement, and the sub-culture that it has inevitably spawned. 

            Believe it or not, there was a time when people understood that in order to foster creativity, you have to not only utilize but to also embrace collaboration.  Walt Disney is likely one of the most profound and well-known orchestrators of “remixing” in recent history.  The film goes on to demonstrate that all of Disney’s earliest works are in fact just “remixes” of earlier literary works.  These works, such as Snow White or Alice in Wonderland, were a source of inspiration for Walt Disney, and as they were free for him to amend or to interpret, he did so by creating the memorable animated versions that we all know and love.  In the great words of Bob Dylan, however, “the times…they are a’changin’”. 

            After Walt Disney’s death, the Disney Corporation fought for the laws of copyright to be changed, and were successful.  This put a majority of copyright control into the hands of major corporations and out of the hands of creators and innovators.  Of course, as with anything in current society, this didn’t, doesn’t, and won’t be acceptable to millions of the Earth’s population.  From grass roots movements to intentional infringement, people have begun standing up against a world that is run by a handful of billionaires. 

            The film follows an artist, using the term lightly, that goes by the stage name “Girl Talk”.  This man takes 2-3 second samples of a song, then distorts and alters them to fit with samples of other songs, then claims the work as his own.  This causes quite the dilemma in the legal realm, because there is such a thing as fair use.  It seems to be a never-ending battle between lawyers and, what I’m going to call, DJ’s.  To say that what Girl Talk does should be illegal seems extreme, but on the other hand taking upwards of 20 songs that you didn’t write, mashing them together, and calling them yours doesn’t seem right either.  Is it your interpretation of those songs?  Absolutely, but I’ve always been taught to give credit where credit is due.  Yes, you imagined this mix all on your own, but remember that without the original snippet of music that someone else created, you wouldn’t have the track that you are calling your own.

            The film makes an excellent point that writers are allowed to cite portions of other authors’ works provided an appropriate citation is made crediting the original author.  This seems like a fairly straightforward practice, and it’s unclear to me as to why this couldn’t be a universal practice across all mediums.  If I could suggest anything be changed, it would be as simple as crediting the original creators when you sample their material, be it audio, video, photographic, medicinal, utilitarian, literary, or innovative in nature.

            Ultimately, it comes down to the almighty dollar though, and the scenes that depicted those punished for infringement epitomize the principle flaw in capitalistic societies.  People who hardly have anything are forced to give up their homes, their freedom, and their hard-earned money to pay back billionaires who lost maybe $8 in revenue.  Now, I understand that adds up, but does the punishment for an insignificant crime really need to be so extreme?  I mean seriously…I’ve seen rapists get less severe punishment. 

            There is no quick fix for this issue, because both sides are adamant that they are right.  Unfortunately, one side has a much larger advantage than the other.  It was nice to see that artists themselves have finally started to grasp the concept of collaboration though.  Radiohead took a big financial risk when they offered their album up to be modified in an unlimited capacity to the general public.  What’s more interesting to see is bands like U2, who have previously been staunch defenders of copyright law, bending and changing their stance in order to help their image.

            While none of this seems conventional, there is merit to those who intentionally break the law.  They have taken a piece of history, and made it current.  Much like you enhance a recipe by adding or taking away ingredients, these mixers are spicing up the way we think about and interpret music.  I will say it again; I don’t think this method of creating should be illegal, but I do think appropriate credit should be given to those who had the original thought or idea. 

Here is the full film for those interested in watching, which I HIGHLY recommend!!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes...

As most of you know, I have been in school for the last two years working towards my Bachelor's degree in Music Business.  My hope is to one day help unknown artists create clever, unique marketing campaigns to help sell their music.

When I started this blog, it honestly was just a hobby.  I love introducing people to new music, and blogging seemed like the perfect platform to do so.  I've had great success with this blog, even as minimal as the posts have been over the last year or so.

Even better, I have grown and learned a wealth of information via my school work.  My interest and passion in the music industry has grown.  It has matured and developed a kind of intelligence of its own.

With that said, I have decided to change up the platform for this blog.  While I will still be using it as a platform to introduce unknown artists, I will also be using it as a platform to teach upcoming or unknown artists the ins and outs of the music industry.  We'll keep up on current trends, debate topics, and much more.

I know it's different, but bear with me as I make this change!!  And as always, send me that music!  Maybe you've heard something that I haven't!  I'm open to anything folks, so start sending me those links!

Email them to bharriss1985@fullsail.edu

Thanks!!

Lolli <3

Indie Bands: The Grind to Glory

I think it's time to bring some facts to the attention of my readers, who are more than likely reading this from the comfort of their own homes.

Have you ever gone to a rock show and really considered everything that goes into it?  Have you pondered what it's really like to be a "rock star"?  Have you ever found yourself asking what happens behind the scenes?

I have ranted and raved about how the mainstream artists in today's society have become a greedy, egomaniacal, group of prima donnas who have forgotten that without fans they have nothing.  What I haven't ranted and raved about are all the "fans" who seem to have forgotten about the amount of work and dedication it takes for your favorite bands to put on those precious shows you love so much.

I recently saw a screen shot of a conversation that someone was brazen enough to have with the lead singer of the band they were looking to pirate music from.  This genius actually told the singer that he/she intended to pirate their tracks but couldn't find them, and then had the nerve to actually ask where to find the tracks available for free download.

Come on guys.  If you expect your favorite artists to have not only respect for you but also their craft, then you have got to have a little respect for everything they have to go through to bring you the music you love so much.  That's what this post is all about.  Educating you guys on the in's and out's of being an independent band....AKA a small fish in a gigantic pond.

I have been privileged enough to be a part of this behind the scenes stuff for a while now, and I think most of you will be shocked (to say the least) at what all goes into being an independent band.  The numbers, statistics, and stories I will be presenting to you are courtesy of my guys in Shallow Side.  They are an accurate representation of the indie music scene, and when this is over I'm confident that you will all have a new found respect for these artists.

For my first point, I want you to think about the odometer on your vehicle.  At the end of the year, how many miles have you logged?  Current statistics show that the average American driver puts approximately 10,000 miles on their vehicle annually.  That's a lot of driving folks!  Think about your annual maintenance costs.  Now think about how much fuel you use every year.  Now....let's look at Shallow Side's annual vehicle costs.  If you perform regular maintenance on your vehicle, it's typically done every 3,000 miles.  Shallow Side logged right around 45,000 miles on their small RV style tour bus this year.  That equals 15 maintenance cycles.  So, let's look at the cost.  An oil change is roughly $75, so that means they paid roughly $1125 for oil changes this year.  Brakes cost an average of $500, and at 45,000 miles they were changed at least twice so that's another $1000.  Add in a coolant system flush twice a year at $200 a pop and about $1000 on two sets of tires, and we're up to $3325.  But wait!  We forgot about everyone's arch nemesis, fuel prices.  On average last year, diesel fuel was $3.85 (according to ConsumerReports.com).  Shallow Side's vehicle, when pulling their equipment trailer, averages 5-10 miles per gallon depending on terrain.  This means that last year they shelled out $23,100 for gas.  So what's our total up to now?  $24,265 just to drive to the shows, and that's not accounting for unusual circumstances like a blown radiator that requires a tow, a U-Haul rental, and a repair.

Secondly, let's think about how much you ate last year.  Did you eat a lot of McDonald's or did you cook most of your meals?  If you answered in the latter, then you are a lot more fortunate than your average touring band.  While it is true that most of these bands have developed enough relationships with fans that they get a home-cooked meal every once in a while, it's not very often.  Most of these bands go from a venue in Maine to a venue in Ohio overnight.  That doesn't leave very much time for sitting down around the table with anyone.  So let's say that my Shallow Side guys are lucky enough to have three meals cooked for them each week during a 12 month tour. That means that four days a week they are left to their own devices as to what to eat.  Now, most bands are smart enough to stock their bus with road food, so I won't account for three meals a day.  I'll just account for one meal per day from McDonald's for each band member.  An average McDonald's value meal is $6.  Multiply that by four and you get $24 per day to eat.  Multiply that by four and it costs Shallow Side $96 per week to eat.  Multiply that times 52 and it costs them $4992 per year to eat one meal per day four days per week.  Of course, this number isn't accounting for their tour manager who also has to eat.

Now we're going to look at my third point.  Costs of production.  Shallow Side currently has two 5-Track EP's for sale for $10 each.  Last year, they sold approximately 4,000 copies (both digital and hard copies), so that gives them $40,000.  That sounds like a lot doesn't it?!  Hold on before you get too excited.  Let's break this down.  According to the guys, each EP costs roughly $8,000 to record.  Then they have to pay for cover art, printing, and distribution of each copy.  So.....$16,000 to record plus another (estimated) $5000 for art and distribution.  In order to protect each of these tracks by copyright, they have to pay a $45 fee per EP to register them with the copyright office, equaling $90. So what's the number here?  $18,910.  This means that even with album sales, they are still $5355 in the hole.

So what's next on the list?  Let's take a look at ticket sales.  This should be fun, because there is a lot more to this than one would think.  First, you should know that most venues don't sell tickets, they just charge a cover.  On average, in my own personal experience, you can expect a cover charge to be about $10.  The average venue for an independent band can hold roughly 300 patrons, so they average about $3000 per show in cover charges.  Shallow Side did approximately 250 shows last year, so their average income should have been $750,000.  However, not all venues charge a cover or sell tickets.  About 50% of them just pay per show, so lets cut that number in half and leave ourselves with $375,000 annually.  Now keep in mind, this is a rough estimate.  The actual number could be more OR less.  Still, that sounds like a nice chunk of change.  Did you consider the other fees though?  Out of that $375,000, there are venue fees of about 15%, promoter fees of about 15%, management fees of about 15%, and on average 5 bands playing at one show with four members each.  That's 20 band members.  Okay.  So do the math.  $375,000 minus 45% for various fees equals $206,250 divided between 20 people.  That's a grand total of $10,312.50 per person ($41,250 per band).

Okay.....so we've finally hit the green!!  $41,250 - $5,355 = $35,895 in annual income before merchandise sales.  That's a pretty good number!!  Until you divide it by four, and then you see that each band member has to live on $8,973.75 each year.  Do you have a cell phone?  So do they.  Do you have to go to the doctor?  So do they, only guess what?  They don't have an option for company insurance, and they don't have enough of a paper trail to get any kind of financial help.  Heath, the drummer for Shallow Side, severely injured his hand this year and it required surgery.  He was unable to play shows, which impacted not only his income, but also his band mate's income.  The surgery cost was a little over $10,000 which he had to pay out of pocket.  Fortunately, his fans rallied around him and were able to fundraise about 45% of the cost, but that still cost him more than he made this year.

To top it off, all of this is assuming that the show actually goes on, and that the venues and promoters hold up their end of the deal, which isn't always the case.  Two out of every ten shows has something go wrong....either the bus breaks down, the show gets cancelled, the set gets pulled, or a bar owner stiffs you on your pay.  If you think this doesn't happen, you need to get a clue.  It happens all the time.

Of course, money isn't the only factor here.  Could you imagine spending 90% of an entire year away from home?  Away from family, significant others, friends, pets?  These bands do this every year, and sacrifice more than you realize to bring you music that means something.  They pour their blood, sweat, and tears into their music, then turn around and sacrifice having any kind of normal life so that you can spend 45 minutes listening to them at your favorite venue.  All on the chance that they may not get paid.

Independent music is more than just garage bands hoping to make it big.  It's fraught with bands who are incredibly selfless.  They do these things day in and day out, just hoping to bring you a message.  Being a true fan of independent bands is more than just loving their music.  It's about more than just filling a venue.  It's about respect and appreciation for an art form that is slowly becoming disingenuous.  These bands aren't bringing you mass-produced, assembly line garbage.  They are bringing you authentic, self-written, self-experienced music.  They give you a rare glimpse into their souls.  Sharing one's innermost thoughts is an incredibly intimate experience, and just like in a relationship, if you don't respect and appreciate the intimacy then these bands will begin disappearing.

Keep independent music alive and thriving, because if you don't.......all you have to look forward to is hearing nothing but Taylor Swifts and Kanye Wests on your radio.  Independence comes at an incredible cost, and I want this to serve as a reminder to each of you to not only love your indies, but to do whatever you can to support them.  Buy a shirt, buy three copies of their EP, buy a bracelet, offer them gift cards for food.......HELP THEM!!  Just showing up at a show isn't helping them......re-post their statuses, tweet about them, share their videos......DO SOMETHING!!!  They rely on their fans for a lot more than just admiration, and without you they literally have nothing.  If you love an indie band, you should accept the fact that you are not just a fan, you are a family member!